A new year is just around the corner.
New Year's Eve can be heavy with expectation, sequins can scratch, it can be expensive and chilly and hollow to ring in the new year.
When what we really want is a way to kiss the fresh start that is dawning, to shimmer, to shine.
And every year, resolutions that get made (or broken) can play into one or the other of those feelings. Resolutions can scratch you and scold you: a bigger TO-DO list and Why-aren't-you-like-this-yet list.
Get better at this, Finally start doing that. Get up EARLIER to do this and finish that. GO this many times a week to THIS place.
Believe me, I love goals.
I teach workshops and facilitate entire coaching sessions around planning, strategizing, goal-setting.
But, sometimes just underneath the surface of a goal is a criticism.
Why aren't you more disciplined? Why aren't you more in shape? Why aren't you dating? Why are't you happier?
And when we are thinking of it that way, we can inadvertently use our plans and goals to punish ourselves.
With the assumption that...
When we go to the gym every week, or when we stop running late, or when we cut out sugar, or when we get more serious about our goal to create our businesses, books, projects, partnerships...
we will finally feel better.
That we will finally be able to relax and think to ourselves: you, I love you.
In fact, without even knowing it, these resolutions, like any kind of goal, can be a way of saying to yourself: I'll only love you if..
If you become better. If you get smarter, or more disciplined, or faster, or thinner. If you just get it together, in general.
But the reality is, that isn't how love works, and that isn't how we work best. In fact, our goals get easier to accomplish when they don't hover just above scolding criticism, but are instead a reflection of our deepest desires & love for ourselves and for the world.
So here is my proposition for you: let the love part come first.
Then the rest gets easier.
What if your only resolution was to deeply, truly love yourself? And your only habit was to start embracing ALL the parts of you.
This is the work that we will be doing together in the Empowerment Mastermind, a six month group program for women beginning in January. Truthfully, it is the work behind all the work I do.
Because this is where we start.
The best work you can do, the deepest love you can give and receive, the most inspiring and passionate offerings you can create for the world, the truest and most comforting relationships in your family and with your friends — they all flow with ease and grace from a foundation of self love.
You don't have to keep trying to punish yourself into having a life that feels good. You can just start feeling better.
So we will gather together in retreats, with gorgeous supplies, delicious food, beautiful flowers, and candles burning.
And we will create over the course of six months of content, teachings, inspiration, and workshops, focusing on our intentions, our love and relationships, our sisterhood and feminism, our contribution, our divinity, and our passion and purpose in this lifetime.
And through it all, we will be supporting one another, fixing one another's crowns like true queens. And through it all, we will be telling that innermost part of us, "I love you."
What to do right now to cultivate your own self love:
Let go of perfection, which will make it WAY easier to apologize.
Truly loving ourselves means we are open to always doing better, open to seeing where we might have hurt someone. Apologies are easy. Because our acceptance of ourselves isn't based on being perfect — and that means the pressure is off.
The reality is, we can keep filing our well with love for ourselves even we make mistakes.
You can exhale. You can sleep in. You can mess up.
Because your worth doesn't come from getting everything right.
Your worth comes from being you, that's it.
Not a single thing you can do, or not do, forget, or accidentally say, can take that away.
And you can still hold yourself in that tender place, softly, and say, "I see you, I see you trying your best, I see your spark flickering and growing, I see your dreams unfolding, and you are good. To the core. I love you."
What is one moment of your day that you can infuse with love for yourself?
Maybe you can take yourself on a walk or a beautiful hike, and just feel how much a part of this beautiful world you are, just as you are.
Maybe you can play music and luxuriate in putting lotion on after a shower or a bubble bath, just letting yourself appreciate this body that carries you so lovingly through life.
Maybe you can just take a moment to look in the mirror and say, "I love you."
This is the place we start. This is the place from which it all starts.
And if you only make one resolution, let this be the one.
Your journey toward loving yourself might be just beginning.
Perhaps today. If that's you, I want to reassure you: you are not in this alone!
If working together (really, playing together) feels like it would offer you the scaffolding you need to build out your self love, consider joining the 22 other amazing women who are journeying together in 2018 as part of the Empowerment Mastermind. It will be soulful, practical, beautiful, and most of all, deeply loving. I only have a few spots left, and I would be truly thrilled to have you in it. Enroll here.
And whether or not we embark on 2018 together, know this: you are so, so, so worthy of love. You are good to your core. You deserve to be here.