Who are you wearing?

A Friday invitation: to let art in to your life, one sequined skirt or cozy sweater at a time.

It may not seem like a natural place to start when it comes to thinking about reclaiming your life, uncovering your pleasure and stepping into your power, but it is.

Your clothing. Your adornment. Your home in this lifetime — your body.

Today, and this weekend, think about how you might use your outer self to honor your inner self.

This is the art that you step into. This is the art that you wrap yourself with, adorn yourself with every day.

So I want to encourage you:

Give yourself permission to think about clothing, even shopping for clothing, as an extension of you seeking pleasure in your life.

Because clothing helps us embody the force we want to be in the world.

Here's what helped me think of things this way:

I was getting ready for a photoshoot with a photographer I was thrilled to be working with. The photoshoot was to highlight my work with women:

My coaching, my workshops, my retreats.

The goal of these photos was to capture the essence of what I do as a women’s empowerment and sexuality coach.

And so, she told me that as I picked my outfits, to imagine what I would wear if I was leading a workshop and:

Oprah was attending. Danielle Laporte was there. Your mentors and friends that you look up to the most - Nisha Moodley and Sarah Jenks and Briana Borten - are all there, gathered around, ready to be led by you and go deeper. The people that you really want to do your best work for.

What would you be wearing? More importantly, who would you be embodying?

What brings out that version of you that is the best at what she does?

I knew exactly what it was. It was a dress (this one above, by Alice & Olivia.) In some ways, just a dress. But one of those that almost felt 'too nice' to wear.

Do you know the kind?

But when I thought about what it was, that spirit, that outfit, that brought out who I truly wanted to be in my work, it was crystal clear.

And this was quickly followed by the next thought:

Why don’t I dress like this all the time? Because what she was asking me to do was channel the version of me that already knows she is the best at this, and then to let myself revel in that and embody it.

I don’t think this means you need to stress out about what you wear, or spend your whole life shopping, but what if you gave yourself permission to step into it: the future you you are hiding in the back of your closet.

Over the next few days, what if you paid attention to how you felt into your clothes?

Imagine stepping into your closet and seeing a closet full of clothing that really makes you feel that way and reflected who you really want to be and what you want to put into the world the most.

What goes with this is permission to play with this outer layer of your creativity.

And my dress?

It is still my armor on days when I feel insecure about my place in the world, or like I'm not sure if I can really do it.

I put it on, wear it to a coffee shop or to my office, and get to work. And even that feels beautiful.

For some of us who are drawn toward the more spiritual and transformative work, or we are in a helping profession, or even helping people in our daily lives... It can sometimes feel frivolous to think about clothing.

We can think: "it’s just a dress". I totally get that - I used to really feel that way.

But where that voice is coming from?

Is there any element in it that is actually about fear and trying to keep you from playing really big?

What I have noticed about my clients and myself is that most often, when I hear that inner critic voice going:

"This is too much, you’re asking for too much, this is self-indulgent, this is silly."

And what it means is:

"I'm scared to be seen. To be noticed. To be big."

That voice is there because fully stepping into our power - which a dress or a suit or a great pair of fabulous overalls cannot do for you but can be a component of that - is scary. It just is straight up scary.

But you can hear that criticism and anxiety about that and say:

"Ok, thank you for speaking up. But, I’m going a different direction, because I’m actually not scared. I’m going to find that something to help me channel the power and pleasure that goes with living out my purpose. I’m not going to hide away from it or dismiss it."

Because the way that I feel in my body and the way that I feel in what I put on my body does make a big difference. So here's permission to let this matter if you want it to.

And remember that this isn’t about finding the perfect dress or spending a lot of money. It’s about finding the pieces that make you feel the way you want to feel. Start there - with how you want to feel as you’re going through your life and your work and your love life.

Do you want to feel creative and expansive? Do you want to feel feminine and beautiful? Do you want to feel strong and powerful like a global thought leader?

What words come to mind and what pieces of that do you want to start channeling and how can you do that starting tomorrow? xo, Kimberly

P.S. Want to know more about crafting a life based in who you are at your best? I can help. Coaching with me is about uncovering your best self, unearthing your wildest dreams, getting you into the job you actually want or creating your own, and living life in a body that is reclaimed, restored, and whole.

Explore my online program UNCOVER, for women ready to heal from the past and create the life of their dreams, or apply for a Soulful Spa Day with me in person by replying to this email.

{My one-on-one program is currently full, but let me know if you'd like to be added to the waitlist}

It's a pleasure to meet you.

I'm Kimberly Pendleton, a women's empowerment coach & professor, and my mission is to help every woman feel safe & free. You deserve a passionate love, a life that lights you up, and a love that feels incredible.

I'm here to help.

Find free resources at or check out upcoming events in the DC area at

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